Sass*
by Sass
Summary: I thought it was a shame that when anyone writes M.W.P.P it always ends up being L/J so I decided to write a fic about my darling Sirius and this is that!!
1. Sass gets a letter and consiquently proc...

?   
A/N this is my first fan fic and I'm just learning I think I weeded out all the spelling mistakes but who knows? now on with the story read and enjoy.   
  
  
Sass Mayhew was 11 years, old had too many freckles and dark brown hair. She also had a Sister called   
Zoe and a brother called David. There was suddenly a loud knock on the window and Sass jumped.   
Knocking very ferociously on the window was a   
large   
irritated looking tawny owl. Sass leaped up and let it in. It dropped a letter on the floor ruffled its feathers importantly   
and flew off. Sass tore open the letter (which was strangely like parchment)   
and read   
Dear Miss S. Mayhew,  
I am glad to offer you a place at Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. The time for departure is 11 o'clock on the   
1st of September, from Kings Cross station platform 93/4. Enclosed is a   
list of all your school supplies. We await your owl by no later than the 30th of August. Mcgonnagall  
Prof. M. Mcgonnagall  
"mum, mum look I'm a witch!!!" yelled Sass  
"what? oh" said Mrs Mayhew not in the least bit surprised to find her daughter was a   
witch.   
"why aren't you surprised?" asked Sass  
" well your aunt... Aunt Sarah the one that looks like you well she's a witch your great Aunt Joan she was we've accumulated   
allot of magical blood over the years" said her mum said "I always envied them going off   
to Hogwarts coming back with frogs spawn and tails of many a well pulled prank." she stopped seeing her daughters face. "What?" she asked.  
"frogs spawn mum that is gross!!" Sass exclaimed.  
"I suppose so. Honey" her mum yelled "we've got another one"   
"shouldn't we phone Sarah she'll tell us what to do." said Sass's dad coming down stairs in his dressing gown.   
" I'll do it" Sass volunteered.  
"OK " said her mum "Just a sec' were have you put the phone honestly can't we keep   
anything in this house?"  
"probably not." said Zoe coming down the stairs bleary eyed "what have we lost?"   
"the phone" her mother replied.  
"oh no that's not lost it's in the play room." said Zoe calmly.  
"I won't even ask" said her mum. Later the next day Aunt Sarah was ready to take me to   
get my school things. Aunt Sarah and me are very much alike for one thing we're both called Sarah but I don't think any one knows that I'm called Sarah they just call me Sass no questions asked. Also we look alike, think alike and have the same Cheshire cat grins that spelled trouble for any one close enough to pull a prank on.   
Aunt Sarah had told Sass every thing about Hogwarts and Diagon ally. Still it hadn't prepared her for the leaky caldron. A very rusty broken pub which know one besides them selves could see.   
"Hi Tom how's tricks? Minerva your going to have a tough year this ones got the same   
eye for practical jokes I had!" said Aunt Sarah loudly. An adult witch who must have been Minerva looked up and muttered   
'not another one' and groaned.  
'you know these people?' I muttered  
'oh yes Minerva Mcgonnagall was at school with me but one or two years above me, she started teaching Transfiguration in my last year.' said Sarah  
'right... sure' said Sass not one hundred percent sure she liked the sound of someone that formidable for a teacher.   
Sass looked at her aunt strangely as she began counting bricks in the wall in front of her.   
'err...what are you doing?' asked Sass. Her Aunt didn't hear her but Said  
'voila Diagon Ally, So what do you think?'  
'It's... wow... So many wizarding shops.... but' said Sass looking down 'I don't have any Wizarding money and   
these shops don't look like they'd be to happy to receive Pounds + Pence.' Sass walked over to the nearest shop and said 'yes look here it says BEETLES EYES 10 SICKLES A SCOOP... Sickles what a strange currency.'  
'oh honestly first stop Gringotts the wizarding bank!...' said Sarah  
'Wizards have banks' Sass interrupted disbelievingly.  
'of course were else would we keep our money? lying around the house I don't think so!! anyway one with what I was saying we're going to Gringotts to change some of your muggle money for wizarding money instead come on.'  
'but Aunt Sarah what's a muggle?' Sass asked.  
'its some one with no magical blood. I see you will have to learn the terminology, later. here's Gringotts.' Wow! thought Sass, Jesus Christ its big! I wouldn't like to steal something from here must be impossible. she thought reading the notice.  
'Sass this won't take long you Stay here.' Said her Aunt and went to see a goblin about changing the money. it struck Sass as slightly odd that the bank should be run by Goblins but lots of things had stuck her as odd today so it wasn't surprising. She looked around and saw some people giving their keys to different Goblins and getting, slightly nervously into a wooden cart I soon saw why they were so nervous the cart set-off at a break-neck speed and suddenly swerved out of sight.   
'That looks fun' She said to no-one in particular and suddenly a voice came from behind her,  
'wait till you try it' it said dryly. She spun around on the spot and she found herself facing a boy about her age maybe a little older with Black hair tied up in a pony tail.  
'who are you' I asked him   
'ahh now that would be telling wouldn't it.' he said mysteriously  
'oh give it a rest I don't have the time.' said Sass walking away to find her aunt.   
'hey don't go!' said the boy.  
'why ever not you won't even tell me your name and couldn't even be bothered to ask mine!!' she put in angrily.  
'alright I'll tell you who I just happen to be the one the only Sirius Black the best mischief maker in all the world!!!'  
'much better, now I'm Sass Mayhew I'm muggle born and my aunt Sarah over there isn't so she's helping me with every thing like money.' Sass said   
'boy your learning the terminology fast.' Sirius said. Sass pulled out a rose from some where Sirius didn't see where and gave it to him.  
'for the compliment.' Said Sass. Sirius took it willingly but Sass' Cheshire cat grin had already spread which should have been warning enough but Sirius didn't know her. The moment Sirius' fingers took hold of the rose a stream of water hit him squarely between the eyes. Sass crowed triumphantly her aunt hearing this ran over quickly in time to see Sass doubled up with laughter and a the poor victim soaked from head to foot.  
'SASS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!?!?!?!?!?!' yelled her aunt. But Sass couldn't answer she was having hysterics after the look on Sirius' face when the water had hit him. She managed to choke out,  
'the look on your face' before surrendering to the hysteria that had taken over. Sass' aunt took out her wand and stopped Sass laughing with a wave and then put a drying charm on Sirius so he dried out. Her aunt pulled her away but Sass restrained and turned to look at Sirius who was still fuming and I mouthed   
'for thinking your the best practical joker in the world'  
  
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- So what do you think it's my first attempt tell me what you think in the happy little box down there, but do try to be nice ppppllllleeeeeeaaaaaaasssssssseeeeeeeee !- Sass --x--   
Disclaimer: I own Sass, her aunt, her mum, her dad, her sister, her brother, the telephone, the rose + stream of water at the end and most importantly NOTHING ELSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!   
*  



	2. Shopping continues then a ride on the tr...

A/N 1 Me again I know I haven't put anything up recently in fact I'm thirteen now and I haven't updated my profile. If you wanna read stuff I've written, try Emmy, though that stuff is very different from this. I've dicovered that Sarah couldn't have been at hogwarts when Mcgonagal(sp) was there, see the Harry Potter Lexicon site which has a time line and you'll see that Mcgonagal was at hogwarts before Sarah was born (1930) so sorry about that but I've lost the file for the first Sass chapter so I can't change it.   
  
Disclaimer: Jk owns Sirius, Remus, James, Platform 9 and 3/4, Holyhead harpies, the whole of diagon alley and the train, I own Macha, Sass, the funny robe that comes into it, a couple of other things and the plot such as it is.  
  
A/N 2 The first part of this is a bit stupid and there's no Sirius, it's the end of the shopping trip but after that there's a good bit with plenty of Sirius plus we meet the rest of the marauders so with no father ado....  
  
Sass, part 2 - continues more or less where the last one left off.  
  
Sarah pulled Sass over to where a goblin was waiting.   
'Sass, you KNOW you're not allowed to do that, your mother will kill you.'  
'Sarah,' Sass whined 'Don't tell mum, it's not as if you're in any position to tell me off.' This Sarah knew was true.  
'Ok, if you don't play any more pranks then I won't tell your mum. Now, get in the cart I need to get some money out of my vault.'   
'Fine.' Sass got in and the cart zoomed off. When they had finished in Gringotts they went to Madam Malkins Robes For All Occasions. Sarah pushed Sass inside, she walked over to Madam Malkin and told her what was needed. Madam Malkin Bustled over to Sass,   
'Look at me dear, hmmmm size 1 I think, I'll be back in a minute.' Sass looked round then she saw on a hanger, a long flowing robe that was pink, purple, yellow and light blue the cloak that went over the top was made of a white gauzy material. The girl in Sass yelled at her, the part of her that appreciated things like this very often went unnoticed but now it was hitting her over the head very hard and pointing at the robe.   
'Sarah?' She asked.  
'What do you want?'   
'You see that robe,' Sass pointed   
'Yes.' Said Sarah.  
'Can I have it?' Sass asked.   
'Who are you and what have you done with Sass?'  
'I have a plan' Said Sass mysteriously.  
'What kind of plan? On second thoughts, I don't wanna know. How much is it?' asked Sarah.  
'Dunno' Said Sass,   
'Well go and find out.' Sass went, it was 1 galleons 10 sickles. (A/N sorry I have no idea how much an average robe would cost so lets say that that's about average ok?) Eventually Sarah got her the robe, Sass was delighted. The rest of the shopping went quickly there was a bit of a hold up in the magical menagerie while Sass took forever to decide on a black cat and an insane owl. By the time they got home it was nearly dark and they were tired out.  
'Now that is what I call shop 'till you drop.' Said Sarah as she dropped her niece back at her house.  
'Thanks for taking me Sarah, and thanks for the robe.'   
'That's fine, see you in September, I'll take you to platform 9 and 3/4.'   
'Kay, See ya.' Sass yelled as Sarah drove off.  
  
***** September 1st (is that right?) platform 9 kings cross  
  
Sass was standing on Platform 9 wearing a pair of blue jeans, a dark green turtleneck and a brown jacket. She looked around for Platform 9 and 3/4 presuming that, like the leaky Cauldron the entrance would be visible only to wizards and witches. She couldn't see anything so she asked her Aunt,  
'Sarah, where's platform 9 and 3/4?'   
'Just through there.' Said Sarah pointing at a metal barrier. (A/N It was a wall in the movie but I think it was metal in the book wasn't it?)  
'Where?' asked Sass.  
'Follow me.' Said Sarah so Sass lugging a trolley with several cases on followed her. Before Sass realised what had happened Sarah had gone through the barrier, Weird, Sass thought to herself but went through the barrier after Sarah. She found herself on a crowded platform full of people with owls and cats a few were already in robes, she gazed round at all the people and did a double take when she saw a dark brown ponytail that could only belong to...  
'Oy! Sirius.' a boy with messy black hair and glasses yelled and true to her suspicions the boy turned round. She smiled and dragged her trolley over to Sirius.   
'Hello! so nice to see you again!'  
'Oh no.' Said Sirius.  
'Sirius!' The boy with messy hair said having fought his way over to Sirius. 'Who's your charming friend?'  
'She's not charming, James this is Sass, Sass this is James.' James kissed her hand,   
'Delighted to meet you.' Said James  
'Thanks' Said Sass blushing slightly.  
'You won't be delighted to meet her.' Said Sirius.  
'What do you mean Sirius?' asked James.  
'When...' Sirius began but Sass cut across him,  
'You mean to say he didn't tell you?' Sass looked scandalised.  
'Tell me what? Sirius what have you been keeping from you bestest friend?' asked James.  
'I'm not telling but what I will say is that the train is going to leave now and it won't worry if we're left behind to lets find a goddam carriage.' Said Sirius. The three of them hurried onto the train as fast as they could which to be honest wasn't very fast weighed down as they were with cases and cages. They eventually found a carriage which looked empty. Not being bothered to put their luggage on the rack they put it all on the seats and sat down next to it. Sass let her cat, Macha out for some exercise.   
'I'll tell you what Sirius 'forgot' to tell you.' said Sass 'He didn't tell you that when he was in Gringotts he went to say hello to a perfectly innocent' Sirius glared and muttered   
'yeah right' Sass looked at him sternly,  
'I'm trying to tell a story here, shut up.' she said and continued 'Perfectly innocent eleven year old muggle born girl. He made the mistake of saying that he was the best mischief maker ever and the girl thought he must be very confused and decided it was her duty to put him right so she gave him a rose and it squirted water at him he was soaking wet, it was hilarious but before anything else could happen the girls aunt took her away.'   
'Your kidding, Sirius fell for that!'  
'I kid you not. I should know, I did it.' said Sass proudly.  
'Well done!' Said James to Sass. Sirius sulked. 'Poor Sirius, are you sore because of what happened?' Sirius pouted. 'I'll take that as a yes.' Sass noticed Macha was hissing loudly at the seat behind them. Sass tried to call her cat.  
'Macha, come here you stupid animal.' The cat wouldn't come.  
'Wonder what it's hissing at?' asked James.  
'I'll go find out.' said Sass. Sass got up and went to see what was up with her cat. As she bent down to pick up her cat she saw a boy with amber eyes and brown hair. 'Hi, who are you?' Sass asked curiously.  
'I'm Remus. Remus Lupin.' Said the boy.   
'I don't know what's up with my cat, she's not normally like this.' Said Sass.   
'It's ok, I'm used to it.' Said Remus. That threw Sass, used to having cats hiss at you, strange.   
'Hey, d'you wanna' come sit with me and James and Sirius? I'm Sass Mayhew by the way.' Remus smiled,  
'Yeah, I'd like that.' He said. Sass led him round to introduce him to James and Sirius,  
'Remus, this is James ....... ' she looked at James to fill her in.  
'Potter, James Potter' said James and he took Remus hand.  
'I'm Remus Lupin.' Said Remus.   
'Remus that is Sirius Black the Sulking, Sirius this is Remus.' Soon enough all four were engaged in a convocation about Quidditch, Sass' aunt had told Sass something of the sport and also that she supported the Holyhead Harpies. Sass quickly discovered that while the boys didn't mind that the team was all girls but she still had a rather heated argument with the boys about the ethics of an all girls team. Sass said that Quidditch as a rule was male orientated so it was right that the girls have a team of their own, they said that should an all boys team develop then a whole bunch of feminists would come crashing down on them. Sass ended the argument by saying she didn't care what they thought and any way she didn't even know if she supported the Harpies any way. the ride passed quickly the discussion varying from quidditch to what they knew about houses (I hope we'll all be in Gryffindor) to the sorting (Sarah wouldn't tell me anything). Soon they were called to get into the robes. Sass went round to where Remus had been sitting before to change. As soon as the train stopped she raced out of the carriage onto the platform, it was raining outside and it was quite dark but she could still make out the ghostly outline of the huge castle where she would be spending the next term.  
  
A/N that was harder than I'd thought it would be so you better review, I know I only got four reviews for the last part but I may get a few more this time - Sass 


End file.
